


A Collection of my Poetry

by legallyroyal



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bipolar Disorder, Blood, Crazy, Death, Depression, Fear, Hallucinations, Insanity, Mental Health Issues, Poetry, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rhyming, Sins, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26922322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legallyroyal/pseuds/legallyroyal





	1. Chapter 1

This is just a collection of my poetry, most of them are about mental health and anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I will be adding trigger warnings at the beginning of each one as most of them contain content that could trigger some people. Please abide by the warnings and do not harm yourself by reading this content. Thank you! I hope you enjoy.


	2. A Letter to God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw intrusive thoughts, religion (god and the devil), Knives, k*lling, blood, alcohol mention

Sinful thoughts rampage my skull  
And I begin to lament when the feelings were dull  
“It's not my fault!” I scream and I plead  
But even my own mind will never accede 

The things I think, I can't begin to explain  
Images of knives, meant to cause others pain  
The killing of children, their blood on the wall  
Evil demons that would make even your skin crawl

This is my confession, I’m not a holy man  
Quite the opposite, in fact, my soul should be damned  
I’ve tricked you, I concede, you thought I was pure  
I beg you reconsider your decision was premature 

I stand at your gates, you think to let me in  
“You're crazy!” I scream “You're drunk on gin!”  
Why can't you see I’m the worst of the worst   
My heart has gone black, I’m evil, I’m cursed.

I turn my back on your saintful parade   
In favor of my deserving sinful brigade   
I’m not the man I was destined to be   
Since the beginning I was impotent to your lawful decree

Now I’m falling, I’m burning, the end that wasn't fated  
Everything I stood for I know that you hated  
I was twisted, I was corrupt, I was tarnished and marked   
For the devil, you see, he called and I harked.


	3. Fear is Physical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW panic attack, su*cidal ideation

Fear is physical when the thoughts get cynical  
When I want to rip my chest open and leave myself bare  
Just so there's enough room to fill my lungs up with air  
When I curl into a ball because the ants start to crawl  
Across my skin like a disease  
And I forget how to breathe 

When the fire is in my chest and I just want to rest  
But when I close my eyes all I hear is the buzzing of flies  
Surrounding my head  
Now I wish I was dead

But I’m already a corpse  
Now I remember, of course  
That I was never alive  
There’s no way to revive  
A heart that never beat  
It's time to admit defeat


	4. Born Holding a Gun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW Intrusive thoughts, su*cide, gun mention

The thoughts that drummed inside his head  
He couldn't run so he died instead   
Now his body’s on the floor   
A sight he knew you would abhor

He wants you to know he didn't mean   
To make your walls less than pristine   
But he couldn't face the things he could do   
There was nothing that could get him through

His intentions weren't to drive you mad  
He needed to know if he would be damned   
For if you knew what was in his head  
You too would wish you could be dead 

One last thing he meant to say  
Before the light went out that day   
There’s never a thing that can be done   
For a boy who was born holding a gun


End file.
